Martin J. LeGrande

I.

Martin had a hand

but he cut it at the bone

he threw it in the fridge

so when his wife came home

she thought it was a turkey

and served it on a plate

when the mighty mighty Fergusons

came over for a date.

II.

They all began the feasting

Madame Ferguson proclaimed

'the swine - est savoureux

but the turkey - molto strange!'

Colonel Ferguson concurred

spit the meat out on the floor

'it's a crime against humanity

this turkey is piss poor!'

III.

Martin J. Legrande

raised his stump into the air

his bloody bleeding wrist

made him look so débonnaire

he bled all over Ferguson's militaire tuxedo

as all the dinner guests

spewed forth beefy meat torpedos.

IV.

He bled out in the corner of his finely furnished basement

Martin J. Legrande's last words

'enfin, I've made my statement!'