Aunt Millie's Sweaty Debacle

August 89'
Rain drop cubicle
Wears no pants
To any of the higher lords.
An infinite struggle,
When wavelengths crash
Into nothing
On a steamy beach
Far, Far
Away.

the Dead Hand of the Past

The Dead Hand of the Past
touches the present.
The Dead Hand of the Past
touches your presence (of mind).
The Dead Hand of the Past
touches your (christmas) presents.

The Founder's Motto

Never say never. I mean it.
As soon as you start saying never,
your ass is grass mister.
Bluegrass.
They'll get you if you start saying never.
It's a terrible word
anyway. I mean, gramatically it doesn't even-
What's that? Who's They??

Why, the everpresenteverknowingallseeingallbeingallscreaming
alwaysyellingmosltyflailingsimplythreshingcontestjudging
pageantcrashingweddingplanningsailboatsterningtraintrackblasting
hiphopcasting They
That's They. You don't want to
mess with They, even if
you die trying.

And always remember:
I f#*@$d the landlord
for seven weeks straight
so you wouldn't have to.

My Boy, Stay Steedfast

You know, it really hurt
when you called me a mangy mutt.
When you stomped all over my dreams.
When you thrashed me in the gut.
When you tasted all my creams.

You said I wasn't worthy
to be the captain's footfat aide.
You said I wasn't worthy
to make a penny in the horse trade.

"A brimbling brambling brook.
That's all you'll ever amount to.
So that when I'm out inside the wilderness,
I'll have somewhere nice to poo."

Well, you know what asshole?
This brook has made a fortune selling steeds.

Hump Day Vol. 14

Sunday. Memphis streets.

Walking doesn't feel too good.

Clamshells up my butt.

Hump Day Haiku Vol. 14

Clamshells down the hatch?
Well Sir Archibald Stacey,
Like them up the butt?

Hump Day Haiku Vol. 14

Open wide, say "ahhhh".
I'm gonna take this clamshell
and shove it down there.

Old Mrs. Sourpenny

Cranapples fer all these chillens'.
I'll be kickin' their limey booties thrice-wise,
Lest they starts a thinkin thatta comin ta this yonder home
Be a sin like it is.
Hallows eve or Shmallows eve Ille tella,
If I eyre see one murr of them
Pale lil' arses scurryin up to ma door,
Therrellyle be hell to pay, Gromit.
Ya herd that? Hell to pay....

The Whimsical Fruit

Look at that whimsical fruit!

It looks uncommon!

Pick up the whimsical fruit.

Throw it against a wall.

Look what you've done!

You destroyed the whimsical fruit!

It's no more fruit than an apple-lion.

No more whimsical than a licorice-bear.

The whimsical fruit was probably tasty.

The whimsical fruit was probably rare.

The whimsical fruit was definitely something.

No one will forget -

The whimsical fruit.

That Story

I never heard that story,

in a shadow alley, behind illicit dumpsters,

on a trouble-bound train -

No eclipsed stubble-mouth ever began:

"Once upon Mountain,

I outsmarted a ghost,

Jumped over silver streams,

Hijacked a cabin with a can..."

No one ever continued:

"I threw up the souls I ate,

Trembled upon sacred ground,

Played poker with a willow tree,

Went back to my home-sweet-home,

Slept for thirty days."

Nope.

I never heard that story.

I never seen that man.

And you can believe me,

I ain't never been one for lying.

You Never Left Your Mother's Arms

You Never Left Your Mother's Arms
You wore the silence dutifully,
Bore the cries and won the fear
Of the most important hearts.
You spun the finest silk and cloth
That Rome did have to offer.
You shared your Bread
Your Water,
Your Wine.
But despite your all your rhythm,
Despite all your charms,
You never left your mother's arms.

The Alien Craft part 1

The sky was infinitely bright,
In a singular sense,
Outside my window.
The stars molded,
Space became not a vacuum.
Rather a wild blue phaze,
Of the most stunning shit
In the universe.
The light was singular though,
It came from a street lamp.

The Alien Craft part 2

Van was parked under street lamp,
Had been there all day.
Craft landed at unknown time in night.
No clocks on.
It landed quick.
Shape and dimensions unknown.
Lights flashed.
The van that been there all day,
The street lamp that been there for always:
Invisible,
Behind the craft.

The Alien Craft part 3

Though my mind was numb,
My brain was asleep,
The craft opened and made the music
That made my soul weep.
Figures stood in light
Of craft door.
Horrible,
Horrible figures.
Men but not men,
More naked and raw than any beast.
Living or dead.
A being lurched towards my window.
I lurched away.
A being lurched away from my window.
Drawing nearer,
I peaked outside of my window.
A street lamp,
Older than time,
Standing on an American street,
Older than time,
No van in sight.

The Alien Craft part 4

My eyes unfocus,
To reflect on whether van was ever really there.
And in the reflection,
I catch a glimpse,
Of the most
Hideous,
Raw,
Naked
Being in the universe.
I was not scared.