The Epidemic

Onward Swine,
To pull my load-

The foul beasts of an ancient land
Long gone,
Long forgotten-
Plaguing the memories of my father,
And his father,
And a million fathers before.

Onward Swine,
Until your wretched stench,
I can bare no more.

Onward Swine,
You punk bitch,
As they say...

Your illness is my promise,
Your demise is my saving grace.

The catcalls and the screeching boar-cries,
The pig hoards and the hoary cockadoodledoodlers
Sit in quiet agony.

Onward Swine,
Pollute our fragile minds,
Until we are no more.

The Filthswine Flu

“Oink, oink!
Cough, cough!
Well, you’ve got trouble my friend; terrible, terrible trouble
because
The filthswine flu is coming to a town near you.

Beautiful days,
Once used for loving and fishing and big game hunting.
Now are wasted-
Spent in an foolhardy haze
This, my pet, is the clouded curse of the filthswine flu.

Dogs no longer walk like men
Billy Goats no longer has a beard like a man
Men no longer act like men
Why should they?
When they’ve got the filthswine flu.

Eastern delights?
The Big Crapple!
Buzzwords of industry
Buzzwords of nonproductive invalids
Buzzwords of…
The filthswine flu”

-Charles Dodgson (1872)