boat trip

torn from the clay,
a red river rat!

a hollow omen,
it mocked us
and died.

out that mud
five tons of muscle
couldn't ease us.

the men breathed
disquiet. they practically
wallowed.

cap'n said nobody ever
been tickled by a feather,
that's just cartoons.
I said, Jesus.

Hump Day Haiku

There's no better way
to show a girl you love her
than a good dick-pic.

Hump Day Haiku

A blurry picture?
Can't you see it is a nice
Close-up of my crotch?

Hump Day Haiku

An anus collapsed,
Weighed down by the gravity
Of all time and space.

Buford (Draft from Sept 2011)

Meditating carefully at the expense of his sanity,
Buford recollects a past life he wishes he never wished for,
That muddy reminiscence of a purgatory
More alien than he can remember remembering

He was
The Beluga Whale
Wished aloud and Washed ashore
Stomped on
By the children of Frisian Kings
He passively watched
In that halfway life
As they stomped his brains out

but His
soul remained on the beaches of Normandy
Centuries before eisenhower so artfully
Planned his invasion

his Soul looked on
through decades of madness:
Viking battles
Vicious rapes
and some nude wanderer receiving a Frisian Manscape
So tight and cold
Upon that frigid landscape

Flash forward
1983
Buford is born again the son of an automotive speculator
Stripped of his former enlightenment
And left out to dry on the sunbaked roof of a ford taurus

Best Fuck That I Never Had

They sold me out
And roughed my skin
"Expose the meat that lies within!"

They kept me calm
And held me still
And whispered all the while: "Chill".

They filled me up
And poured me out
"Relinquish him, his former doubt".

They oiled my boob
And rubbed my gland
And promised me the "promised land".      ---> (Lexington KY)

They fixed my face
And wrote my coach
And told him I had points to broach.

I couldn't shout
I couldn't scream
I didn't want to wake the team.

As ghostly tendrils
Stroked my nips
A tremor started in my hips.

A pleasure stronger
Than before
Began to ooze from every pore.

I flailed as if
My skin was burned
As passion's tender longing churned.

The exultations
In my bones
Could hardly render earthly moans. 

As Parker snored
Above my bunk
I felt them butter up my junk.

Yet right before
My loins erupted
Blissful Coitus, interrupted.

Demons vanished
Neath' my bed
And naked left me, soaking, red.

I cried in pain
At what was done
Glanced at the hour, nearly one.

In agony
I woke up Chad

"Best Fuck That I Never Had".


Based on the true events of Jerry Sandusky at Colombus Ohio Pee Wee Football camp, August 1957.

Rock N Roll Attic

My Rock N Roll addict Dad's Rock N Roll attic
is dank and dusty since Dad overdosed 
on Rock N Roll.

My Heavy Metal mother packed up her leather
and put it with my Dad's eternal shrine
to Rock N Roll.

Tonight, I'll turn on some musty Marshall
to launch the ether of some bass faced ghost
and  when my high E bends and breaks
and my vibrato tremolos like a screaming demon
 I'll head first stage dive into the arms
of my Dad's Rock N Roll.

Daytona 5000

Charlie's "Hot Rod" roared and ripped 
the face off father's big bad skull.
Now skulking faceless father walks
the dull dark track in bone black night,
fire water veins and fist fight urge,
a prolonged vomit, a bloody bout,
a wild moon and high speed life:
 a savage road rash sacrifice.

The Pubic Waking

The Monday after
that first stroke,
I stroked again
and made mad love
to the Frankfurt Boys,
a local band.

Cocteau

The last thing Jacques Cocteau smelled

was freshly mown grass;

he'dn't known he'd

die on a golf course.

But I did.

Because I killed him.

Lordy!

Lordy took a stroll on Tues

'round piccadilly square.

Thrice he saw the creepling man,

and twice he didn't care.

But on the third he stopped,

(his passions all aflame).

For there there stood the creepling man

flashing all his shame.

Lordy took a sneakling peek

at the absent trouser-door.

I say it only sneakling

'cause he promptly hit the floor.

The street-performing robot

had whizzed and buzzed about.

When shame flashed at his metal face,

his buzz became a shout!

"Get him!" Cried the Bobbies.

My eyes!" Cried the Fruit.

"Can no one save our ruined souls

from this exhibitionary brute?!"

Up arose good Lordy

from his shame-inducéd trance.

Sore but not downtrodden,

he started his advance.

The creepling saw him coming!

They traded blow for blow!

"He knows my every move so well!

This shame-exposing foe..."

All the gods were watching.

The crowd discharged their jeers.

Lordy'd never fought like this

in all his earthly years!

The creepling stood there dangling.

Lordy'd had enough!

"Let's end this once for all!" he yelled,

"Show me your stuff!"

The creepling man pulled off his skin.

T'was a sight like none no other!

'Fore Lordy stood a maiden fair.

And that's how he met your mother.

Return Of The Repressed

Melanie fears skeletons,
but most of all,
perverts.

Melanie saw pictures
of an orangutan's bone
structure in dad's “creep”
book, but more disturbing,

that pervert's portrait
on the secret “extra”
page, signed,

Daniel “Pervert” Brown.

I Made You Dinner

Refried pork fried rice:
a terrifying mélange
of Chinese manhood
in sweet home momma's
microwave oven.

Eleven heavy oxen couldn't pull
my weight, from here
to Mississippi, never mind
those pubescent apes,
grandkids.

“I'll save everybody a bite,”
is what I've never had the nerve
nor gusto to speak, easy over
and out the doggy door
to Mr. Mittens, that irreverent

Masterbator.

Chief Roswell

Chief Roswell flew last night,
While the lesser humans slept.
He flew like a rocket ghost,
Over the stars, and came crashing
Through your bedroom window,
Touting the merits of a well-groomed orifice.
I shot up disgusted - “Begone!”
A man’s got to sleep.

Rand Mcnally

Lookin' for Mount Mckinley
With Pa on Sunday, 1994

Looked it up in the ol'
Rand Mcnally
Got Directions, Estimated Time of Arrival:
1995

Trucked on through the slopes of el salvador
And the lushes of Madrid
I saw twin magicians in the markets of Giza
And I fed grapes to the kings of Ukraine

The Dead Cd broke in Xinjiang
And the truck broke down twice over the Bay of Bengal

And by the time we reached our destination (97')
The sign out front read:
Mount McGregor correctional facility

"Fuck" Said Pa.

Never Trust a Rand Mcnally

Bumphrey Hogart

I was never more embarassed
Than I was the day
Father ordered 10 rap scallions
at Gustav Floubert's Grecian Eatery

The humidity in that meat bunker
Was worse than the humidity is in
The maw of a young Gila Monster

After the dissapointed Grecian waiter left us
Strange eddys blew over father's plate
In an otherwise windless meat bunker

How odd
My brain said to my brain

Cherry Picker's Delight

"Where've all the cherries gone this season John?"
Asked THE BOSS
John Cavanaugh drew a blank
Drew Harrigan says he shoots blanks too
Looking over the
Wooden cherry trollop
And smooth regulators,
John Cavanaugh collected himself and began to speak....




"Th... th... the cherry pickin' seasons' over boss"

"Well then.." said BOSS, "Looks like it's time for summer vacation!"


cherry pickers delight

Chauncy Fluboré's Survival Guide

Crossing the road to perdition
Takes more than hearty legs
A brain of steel
A soul of Gold
For breakfast.. try to have eggs

And If perchance you meet a troll
Just tap him on the knee
It may seem silly
Or maybe wrong
But sure enough you'll see

That trolls my friend are made of ice
And ice is made of cash
And if it's cash your looking for
You'll soon develop rash

Across your face, across your eyes
And too across your chest
A pocket full of sunshine
And a rainbow in the west

And if you lose your way somehow
Be sure not to alarm
For primal bears and homonauts
Can surely cause you harm

Now of course your nigh to ask
How will this help me live?
The answer friend lies in your end
A cell phone's in your ass!

Dog Flower

Be as the dog flower,
Extend your snout and pollinate,
Wag tail and, bending toward the apple sky,
Lap up last sunlight; woofing...
Woof.

Mesopotamia

A man with no bones stalks in the desert.
He drags a long shadow, his marrow
sucked dry by the bald silhouette
of a skeletal vulture, Time
entombed in a pile of dust.

Dead fingers probe the vastness, waking
in an afterlife more bleak than before,
death upon death mistaken for life,
like stairs off these sunburnt cliffs,
engulfed in the pyre of burning air.

Chained to the withering wall, the man
with a ragged barbed beard buries his feet, steadying -
the earth shakes, quaking with fear, he, sinks
swallowed by the death mouth, the rats
converge, consume, leave a bloody trail
leading to the wet cave where the drowned men,

Play poker, echo, laugh and chew child's organs
dragging, dragging, drag their potbellied flesh engorged
intestines, from the charnel cave; swollen, blue
the blood waves break and locusts from the river bend
descend like pages from ancient volumes, burning

Beth Nahrain,
here is the pale flesh of the entombed masses,
here is,
your pound of flesh and blood
writhing in this fertile mud.